I would repent and ask the girls to forgive me—but it was my besetting sin for much of the girl’s young childhood. As they all moved above the age of seven or so, the angry flares lessened. To be honest I wasn’t sure if it was because I grew up or because they did.
This week Heather told me that she had been moved and inspired by finding the notes I had written to myself during that time. Notes such as:
- “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life.” Prov. 15:4 Lord, let my tongue be wholesome and bring forth life in my children.
- “A soft answer turns away wrath.” Prov. 15:1 Lord, grant me the ability to give a soft answer.
- “Cease from anger and forsake wrath.” Ps. 37:8
- “A hot-tempered
stirs up strife, But the slow to anger calms a dispute.” Proverbs 15:18 - "For the churning of milk produces butter, And pressing the nose brings forth blood; So the churning of anger produces strife." Proverbs 30:33
And my most used, memorized and recited:
- “The anger of 'Colene'
does not achieve the righteousness of God” in Heather, Bethany & Evie. James 1:20
Heather told me that it was very impactful to her spiritual life to see me call out to the Lord for His power to work a change in me. She would see my notes to myself and see that Christianity was REAL in my life. What a blessing to know that even our failures and short comings, when taken to Christ, can be a means of grace to us…. And even to others.
2 comments:
yes, yes and yes! I love you mom and so thankful that even in your weakness, you never failed to point us to Christ! May I be such an example to my own children.
When Dave and I were newly married, I used my angry voice a lot with him. One day, he didn't respond when I was yelling. I finally shrilled, "Aren't you going to answer me?" He very calmly turned to me and said, "When you can speak to me in a civilized tone of voice, I will gladly converse with you." Oh, I was mad! But I learned that I could use kindness to much greater purpose than hostility!
It took a bit longer for me to understand that when dealing with children it was the same way, but eventually I got it and ceased my hollering! God is so good to give us wisdom and direct us there when we call out to him. Would that I had the wisdom back then that I do now!
TM
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